and Life moves on....

It's been awhile since I literally had time to sit down and actually do some writing. With a new job and getting used to be a full time worker and Mom once again, I am exhausted. So far I am really enjoying the new job, position and challenges,  I am really missing my little man while at work though. I always say, I don't understand how I can miss him so much but the second I get home he can drive me crazy ;). It's amazing how such a little person like him can just make my day. I am truly thankful to have my little guy, right by my side.

Tomorrow marks a milestone in my husbands and I relationship  Amazingly we have been married for 5 years tomorrow. How fast has those five years have gone!! Plus it is not only our 5 year anniversary but that is the same exact day we started dated 10 years ago. Yes I was in highschool, and we were YOUNG, but I did marry my best friend, and again thankful to have him always by my side.

While trying to go to sleep and my mind was going a million miles a minute, I started to think where I was just 1 year ago today. I was pregnant,  with my sweet Addison. I would be just around the 10 week mark, slowly and anxiously trying to get past the first 12 weeks. I never knew how much scarier my life would be after that. I always thought once I past that mark, you were good, clear..

I just can't believe how much my life has changed in just 1 short year. I have lived through so much heartache I don't know how I have survived. 1 year ago I never ever thought I could give birth to such a beautiful daughter but within the same day hand her over and never hold her again.

My life is starting to move on. The new job keeps my mind very busy. I of course think of Addison all throughout the day but the tears have become less. I am at the weird spot of my life I feel. I started a new job where no one knows what I have gone through. When is the right time to bring it up? I really have been wanting to bring Addison's sunset picture in to work to have at my desk, but I am just not ready for the questions yet. It's weird how much I want to talk about her, but I feel like I need to shield her to. I know soon enough she will be brought up, and Addison will enter into a new person's life.


One day soon Addison's sunset will be set on my desk, but till then I have the reminder on my phone.