Carrying to term with fatal diagnosis..

Carrying to term with fatal diagnosis is something I never thought I would have to make. We were giving two choices

1) Terminate for medical reasons
2) Carry to term despite fatal diagnosis

 We were giving 1 week to make this choice because at 21 weeks is when we were giving the diagnosis, and they do not terminate after 22 weeks. This was a very hard decision to make.

We choose to carry to term despite fatal diagnosis. We both knew that miracles can happen, and we were hoping our daughter would be our living miracle.

Carrying to term despite fatal diagnosis is a very hard thing to do. You go to countless Dr appts with them giving you no hope. You constantly researching for miracle stories, hoping to shed some light on what you know is the evitable. Honestly, carrying to term is not for everyone. I was very depressed, didn't eat, slept alot or hardly slept at all. Constantly worried about her, didn't know if she had a heartbeat at my next weekly heartbeat check. It was sooo hard to think that my daughter could have died at any moment, while I was still pregnant with her.

We never did a nursery for her. We urged people please don't buy her anything, because it would be too hard in the end if she did never come home. I constantly, constantly worried about her. I had hope, that's how I survived those 2 months, I held on to every success story out there.

In the end, she was no longer able to survive and she did pass away in my womb. BUT, never once have I regretted to keep carrying her.
Never once, did I think I should have terminated her in the end.
Never once, do I regret ever getting pregnant in the first place.
Never once, did I regret letting her choose her own faith
I am grateful each day that she was with me.
I am grateful she let me be her Mother.
I am grateful she let me give her a lifetime of love in such a short time.
I am grateful she CHOSE me as her Mother.