Everything happens for a reason

Just a year ago this was one of my biggest mottos, “everything happens for a reason”. Still to this day I will have times were I actually almost slip up and say it, then I catch myself. I used to believe in this, now I don't.

You know people will say this to me especially when it comes to my Addison. "You know it happened for a reason, she would of had to many problems. You don't want a kid with a disability" I know people don't always say the right things, especially when they have never been in my situation. BUT I will tell you I did want her, I didn't care what would have been wrong with her, and she was my daughter no matter what. Don't tell me what I would or wouldn't have wanted, especially if you actually know me. If you actually knew me very well, you would know I am not that type of person. I don't care what type of stares we would have gotten, I didn't care how much my life would have changed, she was created by us and I would and will love her no matter what.

I believe there is nothing in this entire world that is a good enough reason that Addison was taken from me. Out of all of the Mothers that do have angels we are the Mothers that should never live through this. Loosing a child is not a lesson learn is not a reason to change my life. I could have figured that out while holding her in my arms, while hearing her laugh.

I know Carl’s and I lives have changed since her. Yes, we are stronger then ever as a marriage. I believe we are both better parents to Brent, we recognize the little things in life. Most people don’t see the beauty in the littlest things, but we do. I look up at the sky every morning, looking for that one shiny star. I never did this before Addison; I never had a reason to. We understand how important spending time as a family is, and most people don’t understand. Material things are just something that is there, but love for a family is life worth living for.

Once again, there is NEVER a good enough reason on why I lost my Addison.