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Hi my name is Heather. I have been married to my best friend since 11/03/2007. We have a healthy son Brent a angel daughter Addison, healthy rainbow Iva and a angel son Pierson. We are just a family that loves each other and tries to spend as much time together. We have learned from all of our past we appreciate the little things in life.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

How Brent has been doing since Addison

Brent is a very busy little boy. His memory astounds me sometimes, he can remember who got him what for Christmas last year or who has what at there house. I always wondered if the loss of Addison ever affected him. I came to realize last week it actually has.

Brent is smart but he does have a speech problem. It is not a surprise because I did as a child as well. I was in speech therapy until I was in 6th grade. So now because he is in preschool in the school system I can get free speech therapy, so last Friday we had his evaluation. We were talking about Brent had how he has had a hard time with the transition into school. Then his teacher made the comment Brent is always asking us if "You’re happy" and he is very concerned about it. I knew what they were talking about because this is Brent's new thing, if he notices or senses your upset he will keep asking you "are you happy"? I just made the comment to the teacher yeah he does that at home and I have no idea why he does that.

I left the evaluation and headed to work. While driving to work and thinking about what just happened and thinking about Addison, I realized why he asks "are you happy"?. Its been a long 9/10 months in our house. It all started in January when we were giving the fatal diagnosis and it has been an emotional rollercoaster. So, you can probably understand I have been crying almost everyday for the last 9/10 months. Well Brent likes to be by me ALL the time. So when Momma is having a little breakdown he is typically around me. So, Brent has seen me cry alot, alot. He has seen me very sad for so long that it actually concerns him or makes him anxious when he notices that I might be getting upset.

This breaks my heart. I love the fact that Brent is so intune into my emotions but really a 3 year old shouldn't see his Mommie cry so much. I also can't believe it took this long for me to notice it. I honestly felt that the loss of Addison didn't affect Brent, but now I know it actually has.


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  1. KatieOctober 10, 2012 at 5:35 AM

    Loss seems to affect the siblings in profound ways that often go unnoticed.
    I think, though, that it is good for kids to see honest emotion. They learn that it's okay to be sad. It's okay to find comfort in your family members, and cry with them. They also learn that even the worst of things (losing a child) are possible to live through. They see you hurt and they see you cry... but they also see you learn to smile again, and enjoy life.
    It's a rough process, but you and he will get through it. You will both be changed because of Addison, but those changes will make you a better person. More compassionate and more understanding. Which, in my opinion, are great qualities for a little boy to have! ;)

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